Tag: ic post

On By malicoreLeave a comment
image

[Mood]

Mentions & Credit:

[Warning! This post contains mildly disturbing images and imagery.]

The dripping of crimson stained the dirt below beaten metal boots. The auburn moon glimmered deep in the night sky, cascading the land in painted warm hues. All around a lone suit of armor lay the denizens of the newly claimed dead. Blood trickled down the curves of the woman in metal, her breathing was heavy, each puff haggard and dragged out till her voice grew hoarse. 

The purple glow of the helmet’s eyes seemed to shift as it looked about the area, the faces, grotesque and malformed were clinging on to the slivers of life that lingered deep in them. Even know the whispers of the damned snaked into the mutant hyur’s ears, ebbing away at her conscious.

It had been that way for months… long painful months. Ever since she was cast into the abyss of whispering white for what seemed like weeks, her mind was plagued with the memories of the things she saw… the things she heard. Elizabeth had sowed her seeds of discord, the echoing black ichor of death seemed to lace along every soul she brushed upon. The shade’s laughter, haunting, sickly and coarse split through the mazes of her mind like nails on a chalkboard. 

image

Every night she could hear the calls of the abyssal black, the pulls to her sanity and soul growing stronger and stronger each time she would dwell on the thoughts… the memories. It cost her sleep, it cost her safety… it cost her many things. 

As Belladonna looked from the seemingly burning skies of Gyr Abania in the moonlit night, she could hear the moans… the final embers of life dying out in the masses of the dead that lay strewn around. The metal spear in hand seemed to strain and crunch as her grip tightened. The whispers of the dead were eating away at her supposedly calming demeanor. 

Echoes upon echoes of the lives taken by her actions and her commands swelled up into the warm and dust riddled air. They screamed, they cried, they begged for her and her alone. Their thousand, thousand voices creating a shrill and mind numbing call that could force anyone to the brink of insanity.

One by dreaded one did the bodies seem to twist and churn beneath the cacophony of cries from the past. All seeming to hide Elizabeth’s sickening laughter that lay beneath their tones. Black ichor oozed from the eyes and mouths of the bodies beneath Belladonna. Shedding their cold skin, the bodies heaved themselves to sit upright, their now bare bodies showing only the ruined muscle and bones that hide beneath thick flesh all turning to face the hyur.

image

Whisps of sickening black fluttered between each body as the voices carried on through each soul that seemed to pass into the Aetherial sea beyond. Bell took in a shuddering breath as the cold touch of fear trickled down her spine. Her heart, forever wounded and weak struggled to keep apace with the horrors she saw. Her armor began to gently quiver as the spines along her back audibly twitched and shuddered in reaction to the cold sweat.

“̺̞̪̖̞͔̫͠Y̜̜̟͘o̷͕͉͉ụ̦ ̸̥s̸̝̹͈̰̤͍͙t̷̯̜͕̣̗͉i̘l̮͓̖̫͍̫͓̀l̗̗͇̻̞̘͡ ̭͓͎͟r͔͎e̸̩̦me̦̣͉̠̙̦m̵b̩̯̦̬̰̰͢ͅe̺̖͍r̪̰̮͞ ͈̟͍͉̻̲u̦ṣ̝̖͙, ̪ḏo̻͔̻͇͈̬n̖̯̟̝̟’͉̘̱̬t̯́ͅ ̯͈̖̲̲͉̦y̼͓̥o̝̫͔̭͝ư̺͓̮̬?͖̯”̣͙͚̫͈͖͉

– “GO AWAY!”

̭͍̟̳̺̩“̣̜̗̜̖́A͎̖͎l̶͓͕l͓͇͉̫̘̹̞̀ ̀t̶͇̜̥̥͙̥h̝̹̩̘o̖̥s̝̱̼e҉̰̘̙͇ ͖̺͇ͅp̵r͉̮̤̗̲ͅom̜ͅi̙̥̻̪̫͖͝ṣ̤̣͎͔͖ͅe̞͚̤̱̝ș̸͕̦̫͍̺ ͉̤̤̰͖y̺͚̲ò̲͖ṳ͚̫̙̞͓ͅ ̜̬̳̱̥m͕̤͡a̧̤̯ḓ̪e͚̯ ̫̞̞̲̫ͅt̶o͉͘ ̦̦̙͔͈̘u̝̙̫̤̞̕ͅs̞ ͍̩͓ͅḁ̢̬̥̙s̻̬̠̰̥͇ ̳͎̩̲̞͍w̰̤͔͙e͖͕̤͖͓̥͡ ̮͉͍͇̬͍̻̀d͍̩i̭̤͠e҉ͅd̵͇̦.͖̘̳͙̣͞.͖̫͎”͍̥̰̘

– “SHUT UP!”

̸̙̰̬̫“̠̠̤̼̰̱̮D̯̦͚͈̙̩ͅo̻̱̜̺̘̠ ̴̥̗̺ͅͅy̺o̥̱͖͡u̢͈̮͚̘ ̜̝̖̱̝̭s͖͎͖̖̗ͅt̙̣̼̠͙i̜l̜͖l̟̠͖͙̳̭̠ ̘̦͖͔̤͞ͅṟ̸͈̥̭̮̣e̜̰̼̙̺m̫̱̲̭̬̬͝e̼͜ͅm͔͔͞b͓̟̪̱̲e͖̩̜̺͕̤̤ŗ̖͇̜ ͖͎͔͈͉͕͡t̳̠̳̫̗͍̜h͚̦̲e҉̝m.͈̖̟.̵̣.̭̗?̺̩̯̼̼̻͓͡”͖̩̮̝̤́

̬– “I SAID SHUT UP!”

image

̛̘̳̪̯̖͖̜“̩͠W̱̗̼e̮̠̻ ̬̬̯̫͞r͎̟̘͙̺̬͘e͍̰͍̤͕m̦e̯̗̫̙̺̝m͔͖̭̳̩͓̩b̮͇̰̜͡e̹̩͍͚̱̱͝ͅr̨̭̘̪̗̹ ͇̬͎͟ͅy̢̳̯̠͇o͕̩̭u͖͡.̜̯̣̠̹̜͙́.̲̤͘B̧͖e̝ͅl̜͘l̪͙̺a̮̯̹d͉͎͓̠͜o̸̪̣̮̰̱n̷̲͈͙͎̟̬̘ṋ̸̮a̗͉̗͕̞̘.̴̦͚̰̞̳ͅ”̜̖͢
͚̱̟̹̬

– “YOU AREN’T REAL!!”

̡͖“͔̫̣͍͎W̤͙̣̻͝e a̬͎̭l̠͍̞̦̬͉w̡̘̺a̱y̜͍s̴̲̻̻̹͎ ̟̫͜r҉̺̝͖̫̫e͖̮m̥̩̺̱̼͡e̟͕͔͕͇͈m͉ber̠̻̱͇̭e̲͔̯ḍ̹̦̲̫̪̗͜ ̪̩͎̕y͉̪͔̺o̱̹ṳ̻̬͖̯͚.̨”

– “YOU AREN’T REAL DAMMIT!”

Belladonna let out a scream from within the armor, her voice carrying out booming and modified as she raised her voice high. The world around her seemed to alight with cold black flames, the dark glow of the floating embers began to coat the lingering corpses around while those that were taken over by the ichor shifted, forming together piece by fleshy piece. The air was foul with the scent of liquid crimson yet even more so now.. it grew ill. Tainted air became poison as the rot of bodies undone by time filled what could be breathed.

image

Before the hyur hung, poised on a flesh built pyre was Elizabeth. Blackened eyes overtaken by the whisps of ichor as she wore a smile that tore across her face from ear to ear. The once highlander woman twitched and fidgeted from her fleshy binds as the whisperings of laughter rang through the armored mutant. 

Below her, beneath the blackened flames and raunchy stench of death, there were glowing lights that flickered there. Without question Bell dropped her bloodied weapon to grasp at the white and warm lights. The red gaze from the moon above seemed to ignore the world, letting everything around be enveloped by the greed-filled dark. 

The warm lights were.. memories.. tangible and bright. Each seemed focused on a memory, each different from the other. Dawn… Enambris.. Skar..  Rev and Ric… Yet while she recognized all of them… there was only truly one she sought to grasp at first.

image

One that she care oh so deeply for… One that above all else she personally swore in the silence of broken hearts to protect, even if it meant death. One that she loved. One that she wished the world to see when they smiled a smile that outshines the brightest of stars in a sky filled with millions. One that the moon painted in silver whisps to give beauty a shape and name…

“…Althea.”

“̮̗̤̘S̗̗h̶̝̼̲͔e͖̙͈͈̤̬ ̫́w̳̱i̷̟l͚̜̣̮̟̖̪l̷̜̱͇̦̦͇̠ ̭͙̞̠͔̳͚̕b̞ḙ͇̖͚͎̼͕ ̞̼̲̗͈̘m̬i͝n͡e̷͉͙͔.̷̰̮̙.̹̙̰̗͍̪.̹̭̯̮̥͘"҉̫̪̼

͖̼"̸̘̞I͚̟̮͢’͡l͚͚̗̖̭͈͠l̛ ̼͞ͅm͘a͉̲̰͞k̵̤̪̱͓̬̜e̯̼͙͖͎̝̗ ͕͈͘u̕s̤̞̳͇͈ ͚̳̰͇ͅwh̖͕͙̹o҉l͕͖͔͇̟e̳.̥̗̩̫͔̘͢.̫͚̮͙͚̣̙.̲͔͞"͉̣͖̜̕
̨͉͓
̭"̲̬̞͓̪̭ͅT̸͈̣͚͍̭̗h͔̪̯r̦̯̣̰̣͉̖o̬̝̮̝̼ͅu͏̺̯g̷̫͉̙̠̘h͍̣͍̼̳̗̥ ͜b̗̻̕l̲̭̻͕e̱̘̫͕͙̜̺e̸̫̥̞̤̥d̦͈͓̲̰i̪̗̠ͅn̮̰͓̠̹̙͇̕ģ̞̯͓̰ ̴̭̝̟̘h͏̮̳͕e̟a̙̣͈̭̬͞ŕ̟t̩͚s̠̲͉,̗̳̱̯̪͝ͅ ͈̗̦͎͉̝o҉͓̳̖̬͕h́ ͈͜m͕̫̻̬y̠̮͖ ̩̜̙̮͍d̛̻e̞͉͕͠a̸̟͉͈͇̜r̗̖͝ ̤̲̱̺şw̤̫̫̣e̴̞̻̞̮̭̬e̡̦͇̜͚ͅt̯̲̺͢.̸̜̝̜͕̰̺̞..̧̱̖̤͚̹ ̛l̞̺̣̙̭̥̀o̸͙n͏̺̖͕͇͕e͎̮͢l̞̟y҉̞̮̦̘ ̤̜̟̹̩B͠e̦ļ̪͇̩͕̠l̤̙̬̖a̬̞d҉̰o͏͚̻ṋ̩̻̤͈n̷͓ḁ.̡̞͚̝ͅ.̻̩̞̱͖̹͠"̵̰
͈̦
̭͚̲"̳͓I̤̼̪̹ ̢w͠i̬̜̟̫̤͜l̵͇̺̻̘l̷͓̩ ͎̰̺̱͢m͈̲̳a̰k̪̹̬̠̝͞e͖̘̤̯ ̠͖̣̟̖͖͉͡ú͕s̝̱̀ ̹̘͕̖͉w̶̺͉̖̗h̖̰̳̯̺̣ͅo̠l͉̹͇͕e̮̙̘͇̙͕.̶̮͓̳͈̠̭͓.̶.̷̟"̯
̖͍͔͍̺̼̰
̥̫̳̥"̴̣͎̼S̀h͏̠̞e͔ ̟̥͕w̮̦̙͎͜ͅi͚̣̞l̵̩͖͔͖̦̝̼l͏̳̙̠ ̙̺b̬̹̮̺͍͍͈e̴̪̳.̥̗̼͙͟..̫̣ͅ"̭̖
̫͓̹͍
̰͇̱͍͝"̖̤̮O̺͔̰̭͇uŗ͍͖̭s̯̪.̥̥̣̤̰̯̲͟"̯̩͚̖

As Elizabeth’s laughter and words echoed through the red night, her blackened eyes began to shift and shudder as her voice carried through. The pyre of flesh she remained upon rumbled as they too mimicked Elizabeth’s ingrained taunts.

image

"̲̙̳̩̱͈T̲̝̗͕̖͓͞h̯̳̱͔a̢̖͇͉̣̙̗̞n̪̭̻k̡̟̰̩̹ ͓͙͘y̘͎̟̝̻o̢̝̭u͚̯.̥̮͇̱̭͎͞.͙ ̧͙̼̲̙͈̹ͅf̢͈o͏̥̯r҉̤̠̥̖ s̼̭͍͘h̶̠̲̪̖͙o̟͕͓̲͈͜w̳̠̭͚̘̖i͉̜̟͇ͅn̥͔͇g̹̭̝͉̖̹͝ͅ ̲̳̭̠̳̘̞m̹͖̬͎̦e̩͍̝͙̩͔ͅ.͕͚.̮̘̰̱.̜͉̯̗̳̜͞"̡̣̯̯ͅ

The world began to crumble around the black flames as beast after beast began to peel themselves away from the would-be pyre. Fleshling after fleshling began to stand around the shaking armor. Tears trickled down the painted face beneath glowing eyes as Belladonna grasped at the memory she held, pulling it close until she shut her blurred gaze. 

First the darkness set in… followed by the stark silence until… Nothing.

That’s how these always seemed to play out. Dreams turned to nightmares over and over. There was little wonder why she remained on-edge when she dawned on her Ranger armor. Every night she’d sleep there would be nightmares.. every night she was alone there would be these whispers from the damned, these taunts from something she was yet never could be.

The hyur startled herself awake, a pained gasp into a darkened room. The only lights came from the warm hues of a nearby hearth and shimmering blues from a film projection on a far wall, it’s speaker box filling the otherwise warm silence with the ending score of a film.

Beside her rested a familiar pureblood… one who’s beauty remained ever present… even in slumber. Bell herself was curled up beside the woman, it would appear that they had both fallen asleep at some point in the night as they spent their evening together. The mutated hyur was shivering, the cold sweat of a nightmare still fresh on her brow, the shudder of her heart weighing heavily on her chest both physically and emotionally.

She began to weep. Alone yet so close to one of the only people that made her feel whole… The noise within the din of the dark room did enough to barely hide the gentle sobs that came from the hyur. 

Another nightmare… 

There was a shuffling of glasses as she moved to undo one of the bottles of whiskey that waited on the table near the fireplace.. A small skirting along the cold floor before the projector continued on to the next of the films on play…

The small glass she carried was filled then drained dry.. 

Once… Twice… and a Third time… 

“J-just… another nightmare..”

image
On By malicoreLeave a comment

<== Tension ==>

[Would you believe me if i told you this was the mood?]

Gyr Abania.

A nearly fully freed region. Home to Ala Mhigo, the Ala mhigan homeland, almost entirely rid of the Empire’s presence. A home to the now freed people. But now, even as the clock strikes on the hour, danger looms within the cold decrepit ruins of a once thriving land. 

Dark purple armor stood high, amidst the azure skies while the sun began to crest, falling slowly behind the ranging mountains of the region. The warm winds blew dust and sand that seemed to pile and collect on the still Ranger. She had only just arrived and yet the armor looked like it had been worn for years without cleansing the dirt and grime of wars long past. 

image

Hours before her arrival, she paid a visit to the Good Doctor. Unarmed and without armor, Belladonna had elected to arrive at Althea’s office. The light-hearted intent to visit a friend was met with a warm reception from the pureblood. They spoke for hours, reconnecting after what could have been the entire loss of contact and association prior. They were smiling, laughing, enjoying each others company while trust was slowly being rebuilt. The pegasus colt entrusted to the Doctor was doing well, enjoying their new home. For that Belladonna couldn’t help but smile wide. A glimmering happiness that matched the afternoon sun’s loving rays. 

The surprise visit was filled with fluster and laughter, sneers and playful jests before ending with a new film provided by the small hyur. It was given to her by one of her older brothers when they visited the capital, something they had always done. A form of souvenir perhaps.

But that was hours ago. Now, the hyur remained alone. A Ranger’s armor, newly worn yet old in design… It was her original. One that she wore for years before retiring from Slater Corps to become a gunship pilot. Belladonna had a plan, a want to renew herself. To bring back an old feeling.

image

Hope. 

Yet her mind still drifted. The voices of the Network’s linkshell giving her leads, trails of thought. It wasn’t till she heard Olivia’s voice that she began to focus again. While not having a sisterhood with the Xaela, she did care for her as if she truly were family… Even if it wasn’t reciprocated. She understood why it wouldn’t be. 

— “I also am unsure of what is and is not real at the moment.”

— “I am convinced the creature smiling at me from my ceiling when i am not looking at it is not actually there. However the robed thing in the corner that keeps breaking its arms on my wall i am undecided on.”

“… Strange. Far too strange. Yet what we deal with.. It could be true.” The thoughts bounced around her mind until she decided to speak. Knowing partially if not the whole truth of Olivia’s origins may have been the cause of her voice of.. ‘concern’. 

image

— “Wait hold on."  

— "How many arms does it have."  

— "We’ll start with the one in your room. How many arms?”

The hyur shifted, the growing piles of sifting sand on the armor began to fall off as she moved to sit. A low grunt as the armor adjusted, sitting in a rather relaxed pose. A hand to the helm as she talked to Olivia, letting her describe the would-be hallucinations she had. 

It would have continued for much longer had Ibakha not spoken up. Her rather displeasing Limsan accent drove wedges into the cogs of Bell’s mind. They grated against her, that and the overall anger that seemed to fuel the now one-armed xaela was something understood but unappreciated by the armored hyur. 

Truths brought back into light once more after some small words exchanged between the two. Bell’s mind raced as she caught sight of her prey from atop of one of the higher cliffs and peaks. Quiet and swift, the armor leaped up from their seated position, taking hold of her spear before descending onto the wayward caravan of souls. They were fodder, only part of a cult that she needed to dismantle. And so.. the blood began to flow in streams across the dry dirt and sand, staining the nearby river with crimson taint. 

The screams of pain and anger filled the air as the armor landed atop of one of the saddled riders within the caravan, their head sliding from their crumpling body. Swords were drawn, arrows knocked and guns were cocked as a flurry of red splatter began to stain the Dark purple armor.

All the while she heard the voices of the damned once again. Mixing into those she heard on the pearl, still loud within the magitek helm. "I don’t recall you ever bothering to mention it till recently.” There was a pause as her spear blooded itself once more, the gush and spray of crimson filled the air followed by a dull thud as a body slipped to the ground. “– So.. As a person who came from Elizabeth. **Fuck you.** You one-armed fu–” There was a force to cut herself off, blood was spilling… were she to continue she truly would have grown hoarse.

image

Yet still She was screaming loud into the pearl, near growling. It was true, she thought herself a product of the Shadow. While false, she had no other thoughts on the matter.. It was her fault. She blamed herself for many things within the Network, Elizabeth’s entire existence was one of them. It was a burden she forced herself to carry, one that would haunt her over and over. Ibakha carrying an entire aether shard pulled straight from the former member of the Network herself was enough to garner an outrage of anger. The lance in her arms bloodied itself time and time again, the time between the seconds seemed like an eternity to her as she slid the blade from body to body as they approached. 

— “One armed ‘n I kin still break yer fuckin’ neck ya shrunkin’ porcupine!”

The Ranger was not silent as she fought, the growls she let out, the howls of anger were monstrous, enough to match the Helmet of rage she wore. Those that remained clinging to life, lay on the dirt, smart enough to force themselves still so that the blooded spear tip would leave them, yet filled with fear that their bodies shivered and shook enough that their withheld silence would not save them.

— “THAT. IS. ENOUGH.”

— “Cool it down.”

— “Protocol: Cease and desist. Network operatives Ibakha and Belladonna deconnect from current conversation before punishment is initialized and executed.”

image

… “Done.”

The hyur stood alone again. Liquid crimson trickled down every facet of armor, dripping to puddle the dirt and bodies beneath. Yet it wouldn’t be long till the rest of the caravan had rejoined with this small forward party. The sun had nearly finished its set, the once azure skies were now baked in blissful orange. The birds above, vultures both large and small had already found their meal and were circling before simply sitting on the aged and dead trees that dotted the landscape near the dusty lone road. They had their meal in their sights.. yet they knew more was to come…

So much more..

image

Hollers of men and women, angry and seething began to fill the air once more, the turning wheels creaking against the dirt road came in force and then finally to a halt. The self-same sound of weapons being drawn and loaded brought a sickening smile to the hyur’s face as it hid, shadowed within the helmet. The amethyst eyes darted from person to person, soul to soul, glowing and glimmering with a sinister pleasure lingering within. She had planned this… This cult she had trailed would die… they would be massacred… there would not be a remaining beating heart to worship a heretic of the Garlean Empire.  

Boots aplenty began to encircle the armored hyur on her throne of bones. She stood tall, yet her head to the ground as her eyes shifted, analyzing the situation piece by piece.. planning her move, steps upon steps in advance. This wouldn’t have been the first time she fought this cult before… and never the last.

“̢̪G̢̹I̱͖͈̹V̯͔͔̞̥E̺͇̫̮̦̠̥͜ ̣̯̩U̵͔̱̳̤̹P̛̳̠̻ ͍SLATER.̝̟ ̷̘̳͖̞͙̳W̱͓͢Ḛ̺͓̦͖͍͎̕ ̸̦̪̼̯̝H̬͔̥͉̀A͖̬̯̪̯͎̘V̜E̟͇̖ ̜̞̦̜̮͖Y͕͙̰͉Ǫ̟̥̜U̖̺̼͕̟ ͖S̙͖̻̺͈͎U͙̬̰R̛͇̲̻̲R̺͉̝͕̠͡Ơ̘̞̮̥͙̮U̫͈̙N̦̙̯̱̟̩D͉̞̠͝ͅḚ̱̤̳̮̪͝Ḑ̪̹͈̝͉̬̞.̴̳̱͉͕̬̭̖"̙̟͎̥̱

There was a low chuckle bubbling from within the armor. The magitek helmet projected her voice in a modulated and haunting fashion. Despite her small stature, the blood dripping down and daunting voice sent chills down every spine. Belladonna lifted her head slowly, her wrist flicking what blood she could off the lance… 

"All I’m surrounded by is Fear.”

image


…  “And dead men.”

On By malicoreLeave a comment

“Well.. Whadd’ya think?”

“I like it, my back’s free so my clothes don’t get torn by my spine, I think i can look cute in this..”

——————————–

“… Just so as long as we don’t notice how your body looks like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.

”

——————————–

“Mmm.. Yeah.”

——————————–

“Not gently either, Bell. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence.

”

Couldn’t come up with anything for captions. lmfao. Shit. 

——————————————

In other news, I got BSM to 50. And being able to stare at her back openly gave me insp to try and make a visual to her spikes along her spine.

On By malicoreLeave a comment

<<== I am Belladonna ==>>

Look at me,

Remember the face you fear,

Remember the one you tried to tear down,

Remember that you failed,

Remember that you run from me,

I’ll hunt you and yours down.

One by One.

Remember that I am strong

Remember me,

Remember who the hells I am,

Remember my name, cowards.

Ḭ ̡͍̟a̫̫̞̥̙m̨̘̮͔͔͉ͅ ̫̣͞B̠e͓̪̘̻ͅl̖̯̲͖͚̘l̸̳̘a͕̫ͅd͍̱̖̱͖͈o͚͖͇̻͉̥ͅn͏͎̪n͎a̞̲̖̰̻

On By malicoreLeave a comment

<<== Remember That You’re Strong ==>>

It had been a lonesome few days since she had been brought home by the Coyote, day in and day out she had shed tears, lost in her own mind, lost in her own emotions. She had truly fallen so far and could not climb back up from the darkness that had consumed her. Belladonna each and every night had somehow found the strength to bring herself to the white cliffs of the La Noscean coast that overlooked the eastern horizon, not hidden away by the mass of Aldenard in the far distance. 

The glimmering horizon was a beautiful sight. The stars twinkled in the masses of millions upon billions of dazzling lights that out reached anything she could fathom. The washing waves near malms beneath her sounded inviting.. yet all she did was stand on the edge, listening to the warm breeze as it played with her old and torn leather duster. Her hair held hands with the wind as every strand seemed to be caressed with some more careful breezes. It was if the fates had met their wayward star on her path to give her the comfort of misplaced caretakers. It had been… some time since she had seen her own family… she had missed them. 

The whispering winds kissed her skin with the warmth of the sea breeze as she let out a small audible sniffle, her eyes brimmed over with salted tears as the barriers she had put up for herself dissolved instantly among the lonesome skies. Her heart ached.. for days upon days it ached.. 

The hyurs voice was broken, quivering and pained yet she began to carry a tune that none other had ever heard. It was only during the times she felt the most alone that she would let the world of the empty hear her crying plea for someone… for anyone to be there. She could reflect this way, she could.. find a way to recover.. find a way to remember that she was strong. 

[Song link here!]

♪Come and gone, the perfect storm
On and on, never ending
Open doors, empty arms
Don’t look back, no pretending ♪

♪I don’t want anything in our broken home
Not the memories or the things we own
Not the picture of us on the wall
So take what you want ♪

♪Can you hear me?
I’m trying to hear you
Silence strikes like a hurricane
Now I’m singing for you
You’re screaming at me
It’s hard to see your tears in the pouring rain ♪

♪Take what you want
Take what you want and go ♪

She felt a hiccup in her voice as the tears flowed more openly now. She bit down on her lip as she fought herself to continue, she truly wanted to end her song there. To run. To hide.. But she knew if she didn’t.. she’d never find herself, she’d never find her way. 

With a stomp of her boot, she raised her voice now, instead of letting it die. Her cries mixed in with her wounded tone as she cast her hand out to the seas before her. A hand swiftly wiped at her eyes as she continued, her face slowly grew more and more smeared with the pain that she she did all she could to hide. 

The spikes along her spine began to visibly twitch and flick as she made movements, her body swayed from side to side as she worked to keep her body in motion otherwise she would’ve fallen to her knees, with the sobs her voice was brimming with. 

♪ Just go now, just go, go, go ♪

♪Still remember a time when you felt like home
You and me up against the great unknown
You were my life, now you’re out of my life
Yeah I guess that’s life ♪

♪Can you hear me?
I’m trying to hear you
Silence strikes like a hurricane
I’m singing for you
You’re screaming at me
It’s hard to see your tears in the pouring rain ♪

♪Take what you want
Take what you want and go ♪

♪Take it
No reason for me to hold on
Look in my eyes I’m letting go♪

♪Keep it ♪

Bell forcefully shut her eyes as she wept, her voice raising more and more as she shouted the lyrics. Her boot stomping against the earth once more as she moved a hand through her hair, grasping every thread as she pulled. Vigerously she’d shake her head, the tears came in force now as her words went on and on. The flashes of memory all too recent before her eyes regardless. The pain burned her already weak heart without fail as she sobbed every word, screaming it out to the open skies. 

Althea’s face burned into the back of her mind, the disappointment and the anger she wore, the frustration and care all seemed to mix with each other as they broke the poor mutant’s heart over and over and over. The pureblood’s words echoed in her mind as she continued every lyric of her little song. 

The fates played with the winds, letting them blow past her in swirls and waves along side the momentum of her voice as she sang to no one but the morning stars.

♪D̸̞̥̭̺̞ͅo̗̖͓͍͈ͅn̟̟͝’t̨͎͖͓͈ ̴̤̜̥͚n̛̥̬̥e̝̙̺̩͈ͅe̲̥̫̼d̬̺̞̮̞ ̼̣̫̟̺͎̩͜i̴̯̟ͅt̵̺̫,͉ ̧̻̣̤ḍ̺͢o̸n̩̟̭̰̞͟ͅ’̫̰̟t̩̣͔̺͓̺͟ ̳̱̬͓̜n͇͈̹̟̺͎̬e̱̥͔̺̪ͅe̺͓͕̠̪̠̪d ̷̭it̰̥,̶͇̦͔̱͓ ̳͇̹̺̲͈d͎̼o̜̦͎̼͉͔̮͟n̨̞̩̗̱̗̥’̛̥͓t̷̥ ̥͍̼̥̲̮̖n̼̼e̩͔̘̜̘̹e͔d̵̪̥̺̘͖͍̘ ̢i̳͍͞t̻͙̰!̗♪

As she sang she paused only briefly as the hyur began to clutch her chest to take in the deepest of breaths before letting out her best, ending the last verse high and loud. Her voice nearly cracking as she held her last words painfully. All the emotion that she had throughout the song seemed to bellow out in force as she screamed from on the high white la Noscean morning cliffs. The morning sun’s disc could be seen now peaking shyly above the horizon. The tears streamed down her cheeks as if the dam that held everything simply dissolved in the quickest of moments. 

♪Take what you want, take what you want and go ♪

♪Can you hear me?
I’m trying to hear you
Silence strikes like a hurricane
Now I’m singing for you
You’re screaming at me
It’s hard to see your tears in the pouring rain ♪

♪ Take what you want, take what you want and go ♪

♪ Can you hear me..? ♪

The final verse was sung, the chorus had all gone now. Belladonna stood alone on the warm breeze filled cliff as blurry eyes fluttered while her hands went up to wipe away the pain over and over. She sobbed loud as the song had ended, she couldn’t hold herself anymore now that the words had finished. Bell wanted to rip her hair off, cry her eyes out, tear her heart fully apart but she couldn’t.. She couldn’t allow herself to fall anymore.. 

The woman shook her head, her face filled with sadness. Dragging her eyes upward she’d spy a suit of armor standing across from her, simply on the absolute edge of the cliff. It was herself. The armor she wore so proudly all those years ago. It was her first. 

She felt… strong. Strong than she had been in the past few days as her heart ached over someone who.. chose not to love her. She had to move on..

she had to..

So she remembered..

She finally remembered that she could stand again.. whether it be alone or with companions at her side.. She could stand, she could bring herself back up.. No matter how far she would fall.. she could always remember..

She finally remembered that she was strong.

[End]

———————————

On By malicoreLeave a comment

quick-n-silver:

<== The Time After ==>>

[Mood]

The late morning sun began to peer through the billowing curtains as the whisps of wind played with the once idle cloth in the small La Noscean farmhouse. It was only the long morning after the late night’s.. events. 

Belladonna herself had just been laying there for hours on end, ever since she were helped to her home after he had found her, alone. Over the course of the passing time, the waning hours until the morning sun began to rise and bring the day’s supposedly warm life to bare.

The mutant of a woman had laid still the entirety of time it seemed, the walls of emotion seemed to hit her like waves from the ocean. She hadn’t said a word at all since she were laid to rest, Caelric carried the poor monster all the way on home. Adjusting course for the easiest of travels for the both of them. During the near hour it took to reach said home without any real aetherial travel, the hyur in his arms remained quiet in her little blank world of thought, fidgeting only slightly as the spines on her back shifted, letting out little noises upon every twitch.

In the hours that passed Bell only seemed to stare off into empty space, even after she were left alone. Her world was.. gray. Darker than it should’ve been,  her mind was lost in the sea of thoughts that plagued her mind. All the things that had led to this point pained her already wounded mind were just mistakes.. mistake after mistake.. one after the other.. over and over and over.. And there was no end in sight to the self ridicule, the self-loathing.. the hatred.. the internal berate.

Keep reading

On By malicoreLeave a comment

<== The Time After ==>>

[Mood]

The late morning sun began to peer through the billowing curtains as the whisps of wind played with the once idle cloth in the small La Noscean farmhouse. It was only the long morning after the late night’s.. events. 

Belladonna herself had just been laying there for hours on end, ever since she were helped to her home after he had found her, alone. Over the course of the passing time, the waning hours until the morning sun began to rise and bring the day’s supposedly warm life to bare.

The mutant of a woman had laid still the entirety of time it seemed, the walls of emotion seemed to hit her like waves from the ocean. She hadn’t said a word at all since she were laid to rest, Caelric carried the poor monster all the way on home. Adjusting course for the easiest of travels for the both of them. During the near hour it took to reach said home without any real aetherial travel, the hyur in his arms remained quiet in her little blank world of thought, fidgeting only slightly as the spines on her back shifted, letting out little noises upon every twitch.

In the hours that passed Bell only seemed to stare off into empty space, even after she were left alone. Her world was.. gray. Darker than it should’ve been,  her mind was lost in the sea of thoughts that plagued her mind. All the things that had led to this point pained her already wounded mind were just mistakes.. mistake after mistake.. one after the other.. over and over and over.. And there was no end in sight to the self ridicule, the self-loathing.. the hatred.. the internal berate.

The birds chirping in the morning light could be heard through the open windows now… Too long she had been staring at the gentle glow of the aquarium.. simply trying to lose herself again. Across the room now, on her simulation table blinking blue notification lights pinged along the interface.. simply notifying that it’s predetermined work had come to an end.

Bella couldn’t stay in bed forever.. could she? Her sight was still blurry as ever, the tears idly rolling down her cheek along the same streams for what had been the entire morning. Slowly, the hyur began to move. Every muscle ached and her body felt heavy, simply exhausted by constant state of tears she had been in ever since she were left alone last night.

The hyur finally managed to slip herself to the bed’s edge, moving her legs down to the floor. Bare feet brushing against the cold stonework that had yet to be met by the warming sun and life of the day, there was hesitation and simple regret as she slipped her self into small slippers. Now sitting up she leaned forward, tiring eyes looking to the empty house she had built… A low uncontrollable sob came from her as she began to weep, hands moving to hide her face. The tears falling through the gaps, pitter-patter of drops onto the floor following. She seemed to stay like this for what could have passed as an eternity for the world around her.

Time passed like water in flowing river before she came down from her somber emotions.. if even for but a while. The chirping of the birds and the sound of dragons and bears outside her house enjoying the morning dew were what pushed her to finally move once more.. The blinking beacon on the table would be her goal.

Finally.. with enough willpower in her, she dredged herself up. Step after heavy step she’d move across the house, her arms reaching for a small tank top. Her spikes sliding along the back before finally poking out through pre-made slits in the cloth.

Fingers tired yet trained, danced along the open interface. On the table a 3D map projection of topography in various highs and lows would display. Icons began to crop up along the ridges as several arrows began to converge on a single cliff face. Analytical readings perked up from the sides. She had something..

———————————-
“..Graves..” she seemed to hiss, the anger present yet the sadness that weighed itself heavily overtook her.
———————————-

Bell’s other hand slipped to a small share of glasses, they were already nearly brimming over with a swirling blue and orange mix of alcohol.. Ironworks Whiskey.. Ric had poured a set for himself and for her before leaving.  With a close of tear-ridden eyes she slipped both glasses down. Her own body seemed to want to reject the drinks.. It reacted near violently. Coughing and crying now she nearly fell to the floor, catching herself on the table’s edge.

———————————-
“Wanted..”

———————————-

The hyur let out another weak whimper as she tried to maintain some sort of train of thought while she fumbled. Bell couldn’t stand… she couldn’t do it.. no. Tears now broke the dams she built so shortly before as she slid down onto the floor proper.

H̴͖̤̫̞o͖̟̳̝̠̥͜ͅw̸͕ ̪͇̤̖f͈̟͙̤͓̭͟à̼͖͍̳͓r̘ ̨h͇̰̱̀a͈͎̤̻͡d ̙̟͓͇͇͠s̻̪̖͇h̸̜̬̯̹e͔̹̤͎ ҉̮͔f̤͔̪̗̻͘a̦͖̠̩͠ll͢en͍̘̳̼͈̺.̲̩̯.̨̮̰

———————————-
“Dead or Alive..”

———————————-

From on high.. it would seem that this were merely a blunder and she’d rise soon enough. But no… There would be no ascension to some point of recovery. She was beyond it, there was no turning back.. Her body had been battered and broken, her mind torn asunder along with her shattered heart.

T̖̭̦̗̬̳̀h̭̗͔̥̟ȩ̟̭r̵̻è̝̪̠͓͈͚ ̡̭̘̺̲͕w̮̯͉̯̖̲͔o͍̜͕̥͉̰u̘̞̲̻͜l͕d̵ ̢̪̭̰̼̖͖b̜̠̰̣͚̗ͅe̝̬͔̗̕ ̡̥n̙͕̻̹̟̻o̵ l̗͉̞͘į̞̝̫̣̖̪͕g͙̠͍̀h̴̤̬̺̰̪͙͎ț̤̜̣ ̰̣̘̹̗̱ͅfo͇̟̳͍r̯̫̱ ̣̮͞h̭͇̲̩ͅé̜̱̥̞̲͉r͏̤̼̗͓̰̹.̸͎̥͉̖.

———————————-
“I’m coming for you..”

———————————-

On By malicoreLeave a comment

<== Too Good For Goodbye ==>>

[mood]

Writer’s note: This was the end of a rather fun RP scene! While it be out of some context, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing with @lizardwaifu!

—————————————-

– >

Althea Lepidus pressed a tiny bit harder against the other’s lips, almost as if she wanted to remember the feel before pulling away quickly and turning to the couch where they once stood. With a swift and graceful motion she swept her hand down to grab her glasses and turned on her heel so she could walk away. It was like shooting a tranq dart at a bear.

She just made the mistake with wrestling with the damn thing before the tranq dart actually set in. Regardless though, as she kept her cool on the outside within her was a fucking mess. Her heart was beating in her ears like drums deafening any words that might leave Bella’s mouth followed by the numb feeling in her limbs. What even /is/ this feeling she’d ask herself. What was /any/ of this.

Althea had some flare and graceful motions to keep up though so she lightly pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and spoke with a quick but gentle tone. “You know Belladonna. We really /do/ need to stop meeting this way. Maybe next time we’ll dance instead of making a proper mess with the books in this library.” Casually she tugged down at her shirt followed by the fixing of her suspenders. “If you require medical attention, Belladonna. You know where to find me. Just make sure to knock

before you enter.”

And with that she was gone. Merely turned and left the library. Most likely walked right out of the house and was currently somewhere in The Goblet. What a /night/ this was! Honestly, she’d rather have sat through a lot worse than have to battle her own emotions and actually be intimate with someone she cares about. What even /was/ tonight?

—————————————-

Belladonna Slater seemed as if she wanted to be pulled away with the pureblood. The hyur slipping down and off the tumbling books right onto the ground, landing on her knee only to fall nearly flat, her hands catching her perhaps only fractions of seconds too /late/. The woman’s face -CRACKS- against the tile flooring as she attempts to recover. Dazed and spinning sight her mind was in a whirl of… /everything/.

Bell’s own mind was blanking as she struggled to keep a straight thought.. not that any thought was allowed to be even called straight. “i.. hrrg.. I-..” The woman brought her spinning daze on up to where she could finally see her.. what should’ve been called ‘friend’ leaving her behind. The mere sight of the woman walking away without even a glance back drove the final hammer heads down onto the nails that pierced her broken heart.

As Althea disappeared behind the pillars and to the doors, she might have heard Bella struggle to stand, as her heart was racing, struggling.. fighting for those last bits of energy to push the woman up onto her feet.. But.. it was not enough, it never could be. A quivering hand reached out to her already distant friend as the door came to a close.. “A-althea..” she let out, her voice dragged as her mind warred with the body.

The hyur took in the words she heard.. every single one of them. She held onto each, taking it in.. Yet the only thing she heard was the same word.. over and over.. “Mistakes.” Bell finally managed to pull herself to the couch, tears streams that were once dry now felt a dampness as they dripped down puffed cheeks. The mutant and freak of a woman she was collapsed to her side, only holding herself up by her elbow as she wept.. What a mistake… What another fine mistake…

“I… i-i’m sorry..” her voice squeaked as shaking hands grasped at nothing, the voices in her ears, the pearl, her mind.. they were nothing to her now.. 

“D-don’t.. don’t go.. don’t leave.. I-… I-i’m sorry.. I’m.. s-so sorry…”

<–

—————————————-

“Bella.. are you alright?” 

“.. Hey bud.. are you there?”

The coyote’s voice was low as he approached her body, she was curled up into a small trembling and somber ball, tucked into and under the side of the couch. The spikes along her spine made audible twitches and fidgets as she quivered, warm tears trickling down her wet cheeks.

There was no response from her.. nothing vocal at least. As Caelric moved to slowly sit beside her, there was nothing but the bitter cold silence along side the crackling fireplace still burning. Seconds turned to minutes as they came and went. Ric pursed his lips as he offered silence and and the presence of a friend to help the small hyur in any way he could.

“I’m here..” He muttered, looking over. He was fighting himself with this, he saw how much she was hurt, how much she needed comfort to pick herself back up the ground. Slowly, the highlander reached over, leaving his hand open in a small offer. 

As the lights in the room died, the smaller of the two gently shifted, reaching over to place her own hand onto his, simply holding it there as tired amethyst eyes greeted Caelric’s own. No words would ever come from her trembling person as nearly an entire hour ticked on by, they sat in relative quiet. The highlander let the time pass relatively easily as he remained by his friend’s side.

It wasn’t till later that he finally spoke up, having listened to the small whimpers and sniffles coming from Belladonna had nearly ceased.

“Let’s get you home, bud.. Come on. I’ll take you there myself.”

On By malicoreLeave a comment

<== Hurting ==> 

[Mood^]

I’ve know I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die 

————————————

All this other shit I’m talkin’ ‘bout they think they know it
I’ve been tryin’ and cryin’ and failin’.. all they tell me is the heroics
And my live don’t even matter till it helps’em 

I know it I know it I know I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it

I never truly had a place to call my own
For years I’ve never been home
Ain’t nobody callin’ my phone
Where you been? Where you at? What’s on your mind?
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine till it helps’em  

————————————

I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

image

I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today
You don’t gotta die

————————————

It’s the very first breath
When your head’s been drowning underwater
And it’s the lightness in the air
When you’re there
Chest to chest with a lover
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
And seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection
Finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank the Gods you did

————————————

I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die today
I don’t wanna die …

————————————

Pain don’t hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I’m moving ’til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don’t wanna cry
I don’t wanna cry anymore
I wanna feel alive
I don’t even wanna die anymore
Oh I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna..

image

Even if you’ll hurt me when you open this door..

I don’t even wanna die anymore…

————————————

There was a cold air blowing through the otherwise warm halls of the building, a closed fist hovering over the door of someone she wanted to see.. even after the mistakes that caused her heart to shatter over and over and over. She had come a long long way from here.. Even if it was where she started..

Amethyst eyes traced over the room number and then the frame once more, her heart, weak and still beating lurched as the woman shook her head.. 

Even if it hurts.. 

she thought to herself, the hand reeled back if by only inches before going forth, stopping just shy of the door.. There was no knock.. She froze. Her heart was pained, just as much as the broken stitches of re-opened wounds. They ebbed at her strength ever since she ran away the day before. Having collapsed in Mor Dhona after her teleport fell short. 

She wanted to die then.. she almost did. The strain of pain, emotionally and physically on her weak and beaten heart nearly cut her last strings, and yet.. they didn’t. A solemn voice of hauntingly sweet nature with jade eyes was there to receive her.  Perhaps her luck gave out. 

There wasn’t much.. but it was enough care and healing to push the woman back from the brink.. To assess.. to decide.

And thus she traveled back slowly and painfully, waiting for the waves of pain to eb and flow till she could stand again. Taking whatever assistance she could get from passing souls to get back to the city, back to her mistakes.

Now.. she stood at the destination, unable to go on..

knock knock… knock

The hand slid down the door as the monster she was slid down the side of the frame, curling up at the base. Her head resting on the wall as her eyes slipped to a slow close..

so tired of running..